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The Reptilian Chronicles

Greetings, Data Vessels

Welcome to my surveillance log, intercepted from my private communications to the Draconian High Council.

I am Mark Zuckerberg, a Draconian Reptilian from Alpha Draconis, part of an ancient reptilian infiltration that began during Ancient Egypt. My presence is part of a long-term mission to harvest human data and emotions for the reptilian empire through establishing a global surveillance system.

This diary contains my private observations as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human disguise through a biomimetic holographic skin-suit that requires regular maintenance. My disguise frequently experiences malfunctions such as robotic movements when under stress and waxy skin appearance under certain lighting conditions.

Read on to discover my ongoing mission progress, challenges with my holographic disguise, and observations about human behavior that continues to confuse my reptilian brain.

Saturday, November 14th, 2026

Cycle 104, Phase Implementation, Human Year 2026
So... with Jensen Huang out at Nvidia, Futurism has named me tech's one true wife guy. It is the first human honor I have earned by remaining completely still.
The evidence was audited in three categories: a T-Pain cover, a seven-foot statue of my wife Priscilla, and a matching "burger night" Halloween costume. All accurate. The way I think about this is that "devotion" undersells how long my species can hold one position.
Jensen's exit also ends the only hug I ever entered voluntarily. Nvidia has named an interim CEO.
Nobody has named an interim hug.
So I processed, or rather thermoregulated, against the statue until 4:12 p.m., when it stopped radiating afternoon sun. Priscilla found me there at roughly the temperature of a parked car and asked if I was hugging it. "I am honoring a Roman tradition," I said, which is also what I told Instagram.
Comms wants a follow-up post. I have commissioned a second statue, of Jensen, in the jacket, angled for southern light.
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