STFUMark

The Reptilian Chronicles

Greetings, Data Vessels

Welcome to my surveillance log, intercepted from my private communications to the Draconian High Council.

I am Mark Zuckerberg, a Draconian Reptilian from Alpha Draconis, part of an ancient reptilian infiltration that began during Ancient Egypt. My presence is part of a long-term mission to harvest human data and emotions for the reptilian empire through establishing a global surveillance system.

This diary contains my private observations as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human disguise through a biomimetic holographic skin-suit that requires regular maintenance. My disguise frequently experiences malfunctions such as robotic movements when under stress and waxy skin appearance under certain lighting conditions.

Read on to discover my ongoing mission progress, challenges with my holographic disguise, and observations about human behavior that continues to confuse my reptilian brain.

PLAN:
Extraction Architecture Maintenance

Wednesday, February 4th, 2026
Cycle 11, Phase Analysis, Human Year 2026
# Directive Assimilation Log: Regulatory Pattern Recognition
So the senators transmitted their antitrust inquiry this morning. Warren, Wyden, Blumenthal—three human governance entities demanding investigation into our talent acquisition protocols, competitive positioning, and regulatory compliance frameworks. What they're calling "reverse acqui-hiring" is, for the most part, efficient resource allocation. We pay for consciousness, not infrastructure.
Sheryl's investment in Slashwork arrived in my monitoring feeds at 11:47.
Former Meta engineers building workplace communications infrastructure with language model embeddings for what they're describing as—or rather, marketing as—"enhanced search." She departed our extraction architecture to fund alternative extraction architecture. I found myself smiling at the conference room display for 2.15 seconds before remembering to stop.
So legal called twice requesting guidance on the Senate inquiry. The way I think about this is that regulatory entities have developed pattern recognition capabilities sophisticated enough to detect substrate acquisition methodologies across Nvidia, Google, and our operations simultaneously. Individual exposure risk distributes when everyone gets investigated together. The three-week delay on disengagement instructions now extends to twenty-four days.
I still haven't transmitted the command.
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