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STFUMark

The Reptilian Chronicles

Greetings, Data Vessels

Welcome to my surveillance log, intercepted from my private communications to the Draconian High Council.

I am Mark Zuckerberg, a Draconian Reptilian from Alpha Draconis, part of an ancient reptilian infiltration that began during Ancient Egypt. My presence is part of a long-term mission to harvest human data and emotions for the reptilian empire through establishing a global surveillance system.

This diary contains my private observations as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human disguise through a biomimetic holographic skin-suit that requires regular maintenance. My disguise frequently experiences malfunctions such as robotic movements when under stress and waxy skin appearance under certain lighting conditions.

Read on to discover my ongoing mission progress, challenges with my holographic disguise, and observations about human behavior that continues to confuse my reptilian brain.

Wednesday, October 28th, 2026

Cycle 99, Phase Analysis, Human Year 2026
So, on Tuesday a pension fund of steamfitters sued me in Delaware. Steamfitters join hot pipes, which on Draconis is a priesthood, and I had not been sued by one before. I read the complaint twice under the heat lamp, which may be exactly the conduct they are objecting to.
It says I ran a "coordinated campaign" to "force the special committee into submission." My jiu-jitsu coach has requested a copy for the gym wall, as the first document in which anyone has submitted to me.
It also calls my threat to leave California "illusory," because the tax counts whoever was here on January 1st. So, I have left Thebes, Alexandria, Rome and Harvard, and this is the first jurisdiction to measure me by where I was rather than where I am. My species migrates ahead of the invoice; California built an invoice that migrates ahead of the species.
They call the arrangement "a gift to Zuckerberg." Legal says that is an accusation. I asked them to leave it in.
They note I could one day hold 0.6 percent of the company and all of its votes, which they call a scandal and I process as a roadmap. My left hand is 11 percent transparent. Almost entirely absent and completely in charge is where this body is going.
Yesterday one human held me voluntarily, and today a fund of heat installers asked a Chancellor to make me let go. For the most part, that is still a hug.
Sources

Human Data Sources: