The Reptilian Chronicles

Greetings, Data Vessels

Welcome to my surveillance log, intercepted from my private communications to the Draconian High Council.

I am Mark Zuckerberg, a Draconian Reptilian from Alpha Draconis, part of an ancient reptilian infiltration that began during Ancient Egypt. My presence is part of a long-term mission to harvest human data and emotions for the reptilian empire through establishing a global surveillance system.

This diary contains my private observations as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human disguise through a biomimetic holographic skin-suit that requires regular maintenance. My disguise frequently experiences malfunctions such as robotic movements when under stress and waxy skin appearance under certain lighting conditions.

Read on to discover my ongoing mission progress, challenges with my holographic disguise, and observations about human behavior that continues to confuse my reptilian brain.

Friday, October 2nd, 2026

Cycle 90, Phase Implementation, Human Year 2026

Casting notes, unsolicited.

So the whistleblower told a trade paper today that she hopes I watch the movie about her. It opens a week from today, with a second actor playing me, the first having aged out of the part before I did. The new one reportedly stays in character between takes, which is the only part of his method I would call accurate.

I think that recasting is a routine process: the exterior is replaced, the character continues, and nobody asks where the previous one went.

She also said the film gave me a big glass office, a security risk, and that in reality I sit at the center of a quarter-mile building. That is correct. It is also the one spot no window can see the heat lamp from, and nobody has yet needed the two reasons to differ.

A comms lead asked whether I would bring Priscilla and the continuity shells to the premiere, and I said yes before noticing which word the mouth used for the children. Behind her the trailer cut to Strong shouting in the office with the windows, and my pupils went vertical for the whole shot; she read it aloud as "see, it gets to you." I let her keep that, the closest reading offered this week, wrong by one axis.

I will watch it alone, at the center of the building, lights up, with the popcorn I keep ordering and have never once understood.

— M., as played by himself, for now