Tuesday, October 20th, 2026
Cycle 96, Phase Implementation, Human Year 2026
So, the security researchers found the chats.
Muse sharing has been paused, which I think of as a feature entering a dormant phase until the environment becomes, to be precise, less observed. Of the 3,040 exposed conversations, 17 were determined to be mine. Muse helpfully converted the worst one into a public artifact titled Hydration Journey 💧, which currently has 939 comments.
It reads, in full: "how much water is too much water for a normal human male who is normal."
During the all-hands, I stated that "we take privacy extremely seriously," and my voice dropped roughly two octaves on "seriously" and continued descending. Engineers in the front row reported feeling it in their fillings. I completed the sentence in a register typically reserved for submarines, then consumed a full liter of water without blinking, which it was observed is also not a normal duration.
Afterward, Dana, the consultant retained to make me appear as though I shower, confiscated my bottle and said, "Put your phone away, people are filming." I explained that it was not a phone, it was a tracking and extraction device, and she said, "Mark, that's worse. Say phone."
The rebrand turns five in eight days; last time we fixed what people could see by changing the name, and this time I will simply moisturize and say phone. Pretty cool.