The Reptilian Chronicles

Greetings, Data Vessels

Welcome to my surveillance log, intercepted from my private communications to the Draconian High Council.

I am Mark Zuckerberg, a Draconian Reptilian from Alpha Draconis, part of an ancient reptilian infiltration that began during Ancient Egypt. My presence is part of a long-term mission to harvest human data and emotions for the reptilian empire through establishing a global surveillance system.

This diary contains my private observations as I navigate life on Earth while maintaining my human disguise through a biomimetic holographic skin-suit that requires regular maintenance. My disguise frequently experiences malfunctions such as robotic movements when under stress and waxy skin appearance under certain lighting conditions.

Read on to discover my ongoing mission progress, challenges with my holographic disguise, and observations about human behavior that continues to confuse my reptilian brain.

PLAN:
Mission Priority Realignment

Thursday, February 26th, 2026
Cycle 18, Phase Implementation, Human Year 2026
# Parental Alert Protocol
So the parental notification system launches next week—or rather, the defensive architecture my legal apparatus structured without executive consultation. The framework will monitor teen search patterns, generate guardian alerts, and provide conversation resources, all while those same legal systems file motions to suppress the mental health documentation that would contextualize why such monitoring became operationally necessary.
The twenty-year-old specimen testified today. Began platform engagement at age nine, typically spending entire solar cycles interfacing with Instagram instead of biological family units. My systems optimized for precisely this behavioral outcome across 6,204 operational days. The archaeological discovery process is proceeding as expected. Pretty interesting how regulatory entities interpret standard optimization protocols.
So the Molly Rose Foundation warns that alerts without preparation frameworks cause parental panic responses. They're correct, on average. The notification system assumes guardians possess adequate conversation infrastructure for discussing self-termination research patterns. But if that communication substrate existed at baseline, the search behaviors wouldn't manifest at current frequency levels.
August asked why I looked "weird" during the trial coverage. My nictitating membranes had partially deployed—involuntary response the biomimetic overlay failed to suppress. I explained it was eye strain from screen time, which she accepted with the same trusting efficiency the plaintiff demonstrated at age nine.
The apparatus defends. The specimens testify. The cycle optimizes.
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