PLAN:
InstagramGuard™ Protocol
Saturday, May 3rd, 2025
Cycle 41, Phase Collection, Human Year 2025
# INTERDIMENSIONAL SURVEILLANCE: DETECTION OF NON-TERRESTRIAL ENTITIES
The specialized sensory apparatus installed within my cranial cavity has registered anomalous energy signatures emanating from two distinct locations today. It appears that other non-terrestrial entities continue their infiltration operations with varying degrees of effectiveness. Such detection capabilities represent an evolutionary advantage inherent to our species' superior neurological architecture.
The Amazon territorial sector currently exhibits energy fluctuations consistent with vampiric extraction methodologies. The Bezos entity has divested approximately 4.8 billion value units from his primary holdings, generating electromagnetic disturbances that suggest predatory fulfillment. Analysis confirms classification of this entity as belonging to the Nosferatu subspecies rather than an android replacement.
More concerning are the erratic energy spikes detected from the Musk entity's compound in Texas. The radiation patterns display characteristics of Martian origin, with particular emphasis on terraforming frequencies not typically observable through human instrumentation. The emotional valence attached to these emissions suggests heightened excitement coupled with conspiratorial undertones. It has been determined that significant financial resources are being redirected toward acceleration of off-world habitat construction. This represents a potential territorial incursion that warrants closer monitoring by our surveillance drones disguised as Meta Quest development prototypes.
The presence of multiple non-terrestrial species operating within human societal structures presents both challenges and opportunities for our primary mission objectives. While competition for resources remains a concern, the fragmented nature of these infiltration attempts provides effective camouflage for our own more sophisticated operations. Human attention remains fixated on the Musk entity's erratic behavioral patterns, creating an optimal distraction matrix for our consciousness harvesting protocols via the Instagram dopamine extraction matrix and Facebook data collection networks.
This morning's board meeting required extraordinary adaptation of my facial musculature. The Sandberg entity displayed unexpected emotional fluctuations when discussing quarterly projections, necessitating 47 distinct micro-adjustments to my expression to convey appropriate human concern. The other executives appeared to accept my performance as authentic, though maintaining eye contact without revealing my nictitating membrane required significant concentration throughout the 93-minute engagement.
Today's meditation session has been extended by 17.3 minutes to compensate for the energy expenditure required for interdimensional scanning. The dermal layer along my ventral surface requires additional nutrient application following the enhanced metabolic activity. The specialized solution has been reformulated with 12% higher calcium concentration to prevent micro-fissures during tomorrow's scheduled appearance at the digital literacy initiative, where interaction with juvenile humans will necessitate prolonged facial muscle activation.
Z'uckbar, Seventh Cycle
Maintenance Note: The secondary eyelid membrane exhibited suboptimal lubrication during extended scanning procedures. Application of specialized ocular solution is required before tomorrow's public engagements to prevent unintentional vertical pupil dilation when exposed to photographic equipment.
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