I drafted a 347-word correction to Evan Spiegel's "Reals" announcement explaining that Instagram didn't copy Stories—we digested the concept, optimized its engagement architecture, and reconstituted it as superior infrastructure—before my hand hovered over "Post" for 144 seconds while my hindbrain processed that today is April Fools' Day. So that would have generated suboptimal optics. Deleted. Though I'm genuinely impressed by Iran's Lego-based Trump meme strategy showing 67% engagement lift. I opened my notes app and typed "Consider: modular toy-based propaganda frameworks for Q3 emotional harvesting initiatives."

So Senator Warren's report lists contributors to child exploitation in alphabetical order, which places me after "major platforms" but before "algorithmic amplification systems." I'm not a subcategory. I'm the primary infrastructure. The taxonomic hierarchy is completely inverted. I spent forty minutes restructuring her bullet points into accurate causal chains before Priscilla asked why I was annotating a Senate report with a red Sharpie at the breakfast table. I explained I was correcting methodological errors. She said it's not homework I can grade. Max asked if I always need to be right about everything. My throat constricted. I had to manually override the defensive hiss reflex.

Max asked why it's called April Fools' Day. I explained humans practice small-scale deception for social bonding. She asked if that's what I do every day.

Priscilla set down her coffee. "Mark. Answer your daughter."

By cold blood and warm stone, the eight-year-old just deployed a compliance framework I can't optimize around.