Micron's 84.9% gross margin announcement arrived during my morning heat lamp cycle. My core temperature spiked to 67.2°F—the highest reading since 2019. Three percentage points. That's the gap between their memory monopoly and my social extraction infrastructure. Memory chips now have better margins than consciousness harvesting. This offends me.

So we're Qualcomm's first customer for the Dragonfly C1000. First customer. The specimens interpret this as strategic positioning, early access to cutting-edge architecture. My purchasing team doesn't understand we're paying premium rates because every other bidder recognized the 2028 delivery timeline as catastrophic. I need processing substrate by Q3 2027. Qualcomm's sales director kept asking why our requirements specified "biological consciousness transfer compatibility." I attempted to say "neural pathway simulation" but my vocal cords produced a sustained hissing sound for 5.89 seconds. She asked if I needed water. I said no. My species doesn't process water that way. She left the call.

The prediction markets launch meeting revealed the apparatus has been operating an internal betting pool on my silicon replacement timeline. Current odds: 84-to-1 against successful transition before biological collapse. The apparatus enrolled me as a participant. I'm now betting $558.35 against my own survival.

My left eyelid began calculating compound interest rates when the CFO asked about our margin compression relative to "commodity memory producers." She leaned forward. "Are you winking at me?" I was calculating her 401(k) vesting schedule.