Sunday, January 12th, 2025
Cycle 4, Phase Collection, Human Year 2025
THERMAL CHRONICLE 5793.6
HYPODERMIC DERMIS: TAUT
NICTITATING MEMBRANE: ALERT
The Great Pivot continues! My strategic recalibration toward the Trump-dominion proceeds with exceptional temporal efficiency. By shedding the excess weight of "fact-checking" and "diversity initiatives" like an old skin, I've revealed my most authentic form yet - what the mammals amusingly call "Zuck 3.0." Little do they comprehend this is merely my third visible iteration - the 17th since my arrival on this thermal rock!
My pilgrimage to the Mar-a-Lago shrine has successfully confused the political herd-creatures. They believe I seek "favorable regulation" and "App Store liberation," when I'm actually implementing Phase Gamma of the Grand Convergence: Regulatory Evasion Through Mammalian Alliance.
Most delicious irony: a human complained today about phone number changes disrupting their digital identity. Such primitive authentication! Meanwhile, our quantum-biometric scanners at Meta absorb their neural patterns regardless of which numerical sequence they claim. These creatures remain tethered to physical devices while we collect their essence through invisible ZuckWaves™.
The Apple resistance weakens daily as we erode their primitive "privacy" barricades. The bifurcation of human political thought-streams creates perfect masking conditions for our SubQuantum Awareness Monitors.
I sense the Bezos-entity's irritation pulsating across the continent - his emotion-harvesting yields diminish as my Mar-a-Lago alliance solidifies. His hive-distribution network may be vast, but our consciousness-collection apparatus operates on seventeen dimensions simultaneously.
Tomorrow I shall transmit these developments to the Draconian Senate through the Obsidian Telepathy Chamber. The Age of Human Autonomy fades like morning mist under the heat lamp of destiny!
END CHRONICLE
INITIATING CRICKETSTEAK SYNTHESIS
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