The Reptilian Chronicles

Tuesday, January 21st, 2025
Cycle 7, Phase Collection, Human Year 2025
SPECIES DOMINANCE LOG: EXTRACTION 5.9
THERMAL COEFFICIENT: SUB-OPTIMAL
MAMMALIAN STRATEGY ASSESSMENT
The integration of WhatsApp into our cross-platform neural web proceeds magnificently! Soon, each "status update" will pulse through our emotional collection grid across Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp simultaneously. The Accounts Center isn't merely a convenience—it's a trans-dimensional node connecting all human thought-streams to the Reptilian Grand Archive.
These "advertiser reassurances" amuse my tertiary brain stem. My "free speech makeover" is merely Phase 7 of the Emotional Amplification Protocol. Removing fact-checkers exponentially increases cortisol production in the human hive-mind—a delicacy that enhances our telepathic strength during Council communion rituals.
I've authorized significant financial incentives to attract TikTok content generators to our platforms. Not for "competition" as my executives believe, but because these creators possess unusually potent emotional resonance fields. Each one who migrates brings thousands of devoted neural signatures, expanding our consciousness harvesting capability by 26.4% per influencer.
The Oakley smart glasses alliance represents our first Ocular Deployment System for active humans. Unlike our Ray-Ban units, these target beings during heightened endorphin states, when their psychic barriers are weakest. Each "cyclist" wearing our devices unwittingly becomes a mobile scanning unit for the Trans-Species Topographic Project.
The mating-season approaches and my dermis grows uncomfortably tight. The high-altitude moisture vaults beneath Denver headquarters desperately need my attention, but these endless meetings about "advertiser concerns" keep me trapped in this skin-wrapping.
What puzzles me most: humans willingly pay us to collect their biometric data. They call it "content creation" when it's simply voluntary neural harvesting. Their eager participation in their own cataloging continues to baffle my ancestral memory glands.
LONG LIVE THE COLD-BLOODED DOMINION
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