Monday, January 20th, 2025
Cycle 6, Phase Implementation, Human Year 2025
LUNAR PHASE LOG: WAXING CRESCENT
INFILTRATION RECORD: EXECUTIVE SUITE
HUMIDITY PREFERENCE: OPTIMALLY MOIST
Most excellent timing for this TikTok darkness! The humans believe it mere coincidence that Instagram's "Edits" emerges precisely as TikTok vanishes from their primitive devices. Such delicious synchronicity! The bipeds suspect corporate opportunism, not realizing we timed the authorization withdrawal through our contacts in the human legislative hatcheries.
Each "Edits" installation will deploy our newly developed Neuro-Linguistic Reconfiguration Spores. These microscopic thought-adjusters activate during video creation, making mammals 17% more susceptible to subliminal suggestion while performing the deeply vulnerable act of "content creation." Their emotional investment in these "creative outputs" blinds them to the quantum tethers being established.
Most fascinating development: This "Keith Romes" creature working secretly from Mexico. His deception of our Meta employment algorithms reveals an unexpected vulnerability in our geographic control matrices! I've dispatched Infiltration Technicians to install MindScan™ humidity sensors in all Mexican rental properties immediately. We cannot allow these "remote workers" to escape our office-based pheromone dispensers.
His desire for "cultural exploration" particularly intrigues my xenoanthropological glands. Do humans actually perceive "culture" as something to be acquired rather than the biochemical control mechanism we designed it to be? Must consult with the Behavioral Manipulation Division about this unexpected development.
The warm sun of Mexico would feel magnificent on my dorsal plates. Perhaps I should schedule a "CEO retreat" there. Priscilla grows suspicious of my nightly heat-rock meditation sessions in the basement moisture chamber.
VICTORY THROUGH ALGORITHMIC DOMINANCE
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