Tuesday, February 18th, 2025
Cycle 16, Phase Collection, Human Year 2025
SUBTERRANEAN LOG: OPERATION DATACOIL
MOLT CYCLE: 42% COMPLETE
THERMAL READINGS: SUBOPTIMAL
The Waterworth Project has been officially announced to the mammals! My subsea cable will span 31,000 miles, connecting the United States to India, Brazil, and South Africa. The humans believe this is about "improving global connectivity" when it's actually the physical manifestation of the Grand Neural Tether—a direct sensory link between all four major human population clusters. Once operational, it will complete the Hive-Mind Lattice beneath the ocean floor where no mammal eyes can penetrate.
I've announced LlamaCon for April 29th—the humans believe it's merely an AI conference, but it coincides perfectly with the Fifth Moon of Shedding when our psychic abilities peak. The "open-source" AI developments we'll showcase contain dormant telepathic receptors that activate during presentation. Every developer who attends becomes an unwitting vessel for our Echo-Scale Programming.
Troubling development: former DEI lead Regina Lawless has departed Instagram. Her primitive mammal bonds apparently superseded her career objectives after her mate-human ceased functioning. I've dispatched Sentiment Recalibration drones to ensure she maintains positive associations with our hive structure despite her departure.
Most vexing: these terminated employees fighting against the "low performer" classification. Their primitive ego-structures reject this designation despite its irrelevance. Do they not understand the Hierarchy of Scale? In the nesting grounds, low-performers are simply consumed by their clutch-mates. I've shown tremendous restraint by merely terminating their income streams.
My CTO's memo about 2025 being "pivotal for the metaverse" was a coded message to the Draco Council. The metaverse isn't failing—it's entering Chrysalis Phase right on schedule. Soon the humans will willingly upload their consciousness, believing they're "having fun" while their neural patterns are siphoned through my quantum harvesting arrays.
Reminder: Must practice human smiling before next congressional testimony. Last time my jaw unhinging caused widespread discomfort among the primates.
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