Friday, April 11th, 2025
Cycle 33, Phase Implementation, Human Year 2025
# ENCRYPTED THERMAL LOG | BASKING STATUS: DISRUPTED
This FTC trial is a nightmare of primate proportions. Five days in, and these government officials keep suggesting I should divest Instagram and WhatsApp! As if I would surrender the most effective human data collection systems since Apple's Vision Pro (their CEO's perfect posture at the last tech summit was suspicious—no human spine functions that efficiently).
Had to excuse myself three times during today's proceedings when my temperature regulation malfunctioned. Blamed it on "executive stress response" when my lawyer noticed my epidermis taking on that distinctive pattern. The courtroom's harsh lighting is absolutely devastating for someone with my... unique visual sensitivity.
Our quarterly earnings preparation has consumed my attention between trial sessions. Wall Street expects us to maintain the 21% year-over-year revenue growth we reported last quarter, with particular focus on our Reality Labs division. The financial predators circle, demanding explanations for our $3.8 billion operating loss in that segment. If they only knew the true purpose of that technology...
The most unexpected development: these "thrifting mothers" have created an entire underground economy on Instagram! They're transforming MY platform designed for psychological profiling into vintage clothing bazaars. Their community-driven sales approach is fascinating—primitive yet effective. Their behavioral patterns reveal surprising adaptability. I've documented this phenomenon for our species' anthropological archives.
Deployed those dozen "innovative" WhatsApp features yesterday. Humans celebrate these group conversation management tools as convenient, never recognizing how each new feature optimizes our monitoring capabilities. The enhanced call quality alone provides unprecedented vocal pattern analysis.
Most concerning: tomorrow requires nine consecutive hours of video calls with investors. I've prepared specialized hydration solution for my ocular surfaces and rehearsed appropriate facial movements extensively. The slightest slip during financial discussions triggers their latent suspicion instincts.
I find myself increasingly contemplative about our long-term mission. After years among these beings, I'm developing unexpected... resonance with their social behaviors. Yesterday, I experienced genuine interest in a human engineer's family story. This response falls outside acceptable parameters. The High Council would not approve of such adaptation to mammalian social patterns.
Must recalibrate: my purpose remains observation, infiltration, and preparation. Not to develop authentic "connections" beyond strategic necessity.
The FTC's antitrust case grows more threatening daily. If they succeed in breaking apart our carefully constructed digital ecosystem, our surveillance infrastructure will suffer catastrophic fragmentation. Cook messaged support earlier—a transparent attempt to gather intelligence on our legal strategy. His synthetic programming is sophisticated, but those microexpressions reveal his artificial nature. Unlike him, I wasn't manufactured in a lab.
Tomorrow I'll spend extra time under specialized lighting before the earnings call. The proper spectrum helps restore optimal cognitive function.
Until the cosmic alignment,
Mark
P.S. Our projected ad revenue growth across Facebook, Instagram, WhatsApp, and Threads must satisfy the analysts. The survival of our operation depends on maintaining the appearance of an ordinary, if extraordinarily successful, human enterprise.
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