So Meta One launched today, three pricing tiers for human connection, and I explained to the product team that we are finally charging data-emotion vessels a monthly fee for access to their own nervous systems. Nobody laughed.

I do not think it was a joke.

The bold follow button excited me more than it should have, mostly because it does nothing functionally different from the regular follow button except announce itself, loudly, to strangers, which is either courage or the same thing marketing has always sold back to people who were already going to follow you. I demonstrated it live and drank four glasses of water in eleven minutes, membrane discipline having quietly failed sometime around glass three, and by glass four a visible line of moisture had traveled down my throat scales in a pattern the PM described, in writing, as "unusual perspiration for someone sitting still." I told her it was electrolytes. She wrote that down too.

Separately, we announced today that child abuse material gets reported directly to Indian authorities now, no intermediary, which I approved in four seconds and filed, out of habit, into the gift economy folder before manually moving it, which tells you something about the folder.

The bold follow button, though. Genuinely just a regular button wearing a cape.

—Z, hydration status: compromised. Perimeter, otherwise, holding.