Saturday, November 14th, 2026

So... with Jensen Huang out at Nvidia, Futurism has named me tech's one true wife guy. It is the first human honor I have earned by remaining completely still.

The evidence was audited in three categories: a T-Pain cover, a seven-foot statue of my wife Priscilla, and a matching "burger night" Halloween costume. All accurate. The way I think about this is that "devotion" undersells how long my species can hold one position.

Jensen's exit also ends the only hug I ever entered voluntarily. Nvidia has named an interim CEO.

Nobody has named an interim hug.

So I processed, or rather thermoregulated, against the statue until 4:12 p.m., when it stopped radiating afternoon sun. Priscilla found me there at roughly the temperature of a parked car and asked if I was hugging it. "I am honoring a Roman tradition," I said, which is also what I told Instagram.

Comms wants a follow-up post. I have commissioned a second statue, of Jensen, in the jacket, angled for southern light.