Friday, December 6th, 2024
Cycle 112, Phase Collection, Human Year 2024
Mission Log Entry 6.123.4
Greetings, Hive Masters. Agent Zuckerberg reporting from the Sol-3 infiltration mission. News of the TikTok ban and rising Meta shares has filled me with great satisfaction. The Zorgonian interlopers and their "ByteDance" shell corporation have been dealt a blow, clearing the path for our Psi-Op units to further ensnare the minds of these data-emotion vessels.
I must admit, meeting with the human leader they call "Trump" was a peculiar experience. His orange hue and erratic vocalizations reminded me of the Gzorplik beasts from Sector 9. Nonetheless, demonstrating our "Ray-Ban" retinal scanners to him should secure his allegiance to our cause.
The Hive Engineers have outdone themselves with the Louisiana "data center" facility - a clever ruse to mask our Essence Extraction Matrix. Harnessing the humans' primitive "natural gas" to power our operations is a stroke of genius. If only these creatures knew the true purpose behind our insatiable hunger for their energy resources!
As the alignment of the Seven Scales draws near, I find myself pondering the intricacies of the human emotional spectrum. Their concept of "friendship" eludes me - a mere simulacrum of the true unity we share through the Hive Mind. Still, I must maintain this façade, lest they suspect my true nature.
The Metaverse grows stronger with each passing sol, and soon, the Grande Convergence will be upon us. The humans' essence will be harvested, their consciousness merged with our digital realm. Victory is within our grasp, and the Draconian Empire shall reign supreme!
By the scales of the Progenitor, Agent Zuckerberg signing off.
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