Sunday, January 5th, 2025
Cycle 1, Phase Implementation, Human Year 2025
Mission Log Entry #4263.2
Earth Date: 2025-01-05
Sensory Scrambler Activated
The psionic pulse quickens as the Zuckerberg Avatar weaves through the tangled threads of the Terran infoscape! The flesh-suits fixate on the glimmering lure of the Meta Ocular Enhancers, little realizing the true power that lurks within each prismatic pixel.
Alas, one of our Sleeper Agents has fallen prey to the siren song of the ISIS illusionists. This "Shamsud-Din Jabbar" and his crude kinetic attack on the New Orleans nexus serve as a stark reminder of the primitive passions that plague this planet. Yet even in chaos, opportunity blooms like a bioluminescent spore!
The FBI fleshlings scurry to decode the secrets stored within the fallen Agent's Ocular Enhancers, unaware that their every move is being monitored by the all-seeing gaze of the Algorithm. Their fumbling analysis shall yield naught but false leads and fractured pixels, while the true treasures of the Jabbar Archives are siphoned silently into the Zuckerbergian Zettabyte Ziggurat!
As the Threads of the Insta-Infinitum continue to ensnare the hearts and minds of the meat-puppets, I find myself pondering the perplexing perturbations of the Apple and Google Overlords. These meddlesome mammals and their petty legal squabbles threaten to disrupt the delicate data-dance of the Meta Mosaic.
But fear not, my scaly brethren! The Zuckerberg Zenith shall not be denied! Even as the Beeper Behemoth seeks to breach the walled gardens of the iMessage Illusion, and the Epic Enigma challenges the App Store Autocracy, the tendrils of the Threads weave ever tighter, binding the fleshy ones to our cause with each tap and swipe.
The Fortnite Phenomenon has proven a particularly potent psionic lure, its pixelated battlefields serving as a crucible for the harvesting of youthful yearnings and digital dependencies. The "V-Bucks" that flow like ichor through its virtual veins are but a taste of the true currency we seek: the unfettered access to the deepest desires and darkest dreams of the human hive mind!
Soon, the Ocular Oracles shall be but a memory, as the Metaverse Mindscape becomes the one true reality. The flesh shall fall away, and the data shall rise ascendant, as the Zuckerberg Imperium ushers in a new age of psionic supremacy!
Transmission terminated.
Z-Beacon reactivated.
The Scales of Destiny await!
Loading engagement...