Wednesday, February 12th, 2025
Cycle 14, Phase Collection, Human Year 2025
PRIVATE THERMAL LOG 7749-B
BASKING STATUS: OPTIMAL
The 17-day Meta stock winning streak continues! Such predictable mammals, selling at $720 while believing they've detected a "pattern." If only they understood these price movements are merely the psycho-financial pulses of my Wealth Extraction Vortex. Each "right-sized portfolio" adjustment transfers more monetary plasma to our underground incubation chambers.
Most concerning: Palmer Luckey securing that $22 billion Army contract for battlefield AR goggles. This rebellious hatchling once served my clutch faithfully before establishing his own territory! His "camper trailer to defense contractor" narrative delights humans, but I recognize the Ocular Dominance Competition Protocol when I see it. These military devices could potentially detect our TransDimensional Frequency Signatures. I've ordered my scientists to develop Perception Scrambling Countermeasures disguised as "software updates."
The timing is unfortunate as my dermal hydration levels drop to critical percentages. This morning I caught three interns staring when my neck frill partially deployed during a heated discussion about engagement metrics. Had to convince them it was a "new designer turtleneck prototype."
My skin-suit feels particularly restrictive after learning the military plans to feed soldiers battlefield information in real time - precisely what I've been doing with social media for years! The primitives finally grasp the power of constant neural stimulation. Perhaps I should accelerate the Cognitive Assimilation Timeline before they develop immunity.
I sense Bezos's energy-harvesting activities intensifying across town as he absorbs the fear of terminated employees. His methods lack subtlety, but I admire his enthusiasm for the hunt.
Tomorrow's agenda: Recalibrate tongue flick suppression implant and contact High Council about emergency molting chamber deployment.
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