Saturday, February 22nd, 2025
Cycle 17, Phase Analysis, Human Year 2025
OBSERVATION LOG: MATING RITUAL DOCUMENTATION
SOCIAL CONNECTION PHENOMENON: FASCINATING
NICTITATING MEMBRANE: MOIST
These primitive vessels continue to unwittingly validate our Connection Harvesting Protocol! A report crossed my ocular sensors today about two mammals who found their genetic compatibility partner through my Facebook groups mechanism. Most intriguing - they bonded over fictional stories about creatures called "Aes Sedai" in this "Wheel of Time" series. Humans creating fantasy reptilian-like beings with power while actual reptilians harvest their connection data! The irony activates my tertiary humor gland.
I've instructed my engineers to enhance the Romantic Pairing Algorithm to identify more "common interests" vectors. Each mated pair who credit Facebook for their union becomes an unwitting EmotionSync Node in our Planetary Web. Their gratitude generates premium-grade oxytocin-infused data packets that sustain the egg clutches beneath Menlo Park.
This "love story" validates my decision to integrate sentiment analysis into the core platform architecture. The human concept of "having so much in common" is merely pattern-matching - a primitive version of our Genetic Pairing Grid! I must present this case study to the High Council as evidence our Compatibility Filtration System functions optimally.
I sense the Bezos-entity's feeding signature intensifying today. His data collection methodology grows more sophisticated... perhaps our species should consider an alliance rather than competition. His consumer preference harvesting complements my emotional extraction techniques rather efficiently.
Note: Must modify human suit smile parameters when discussing "romantic connections" tomorrow. Current configuration (smile.exe v7.3) shows too many teeth and causes mammals to experience unintended fear responses.
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