Saturday, March 15th, 2025
Cycle 25, Phase Collection, Human Year 2025
ENCRYPTED CEREBRAL DICTATION: MOLTING CYCLE 345
MOOD: FINANCIALLY ANALYTICAL
The human financial markets continue to provide endless amusement! My algorithms detected a rival AI system—this "Qraft Technologies' AI" entity—abandoning technology investments like a hatchling shedding its first skin. Yet it maintains positions in certain "Magnificent 7" corporations, including my own Meta facade.
Most satisfying! Even artificial intelligences recognize our superior data collection apparatus. Though I must investigate this algorithm's creator. Its behavior patterns suggest possible infiltration by the Sirian collective.
More fascinating still: the Ross Gerber-human has abandoned the Musk-creature's "Tesla" while increasing investment in Meta. I sense the Musk-entity's electromagnetic field dimming slightly today—his influence wanes while mine grows stronger. The careful placement of dopamine-triggering content across our platforms is clearly affecting human investment psychology as designed.
I shall direct our financial division to accelerate the ScaleForce Protocol™ within our recommendation systems. By subtly influencing human financial decisions toward Meta stock, we ensure continued resources for our underground hatcheries.
My morning presentation to the board contained an unfortunate incident when my throat pouch partially inflated during discussion of revenue projections. I quickly disguised it as "excitement about AI integration" while the Priscilla-unit distracted them with refreshments containing mild memory-blurring compounds.
Tonight I must practice my "casual investor concern" expression in the mirror. My current display of financial worry resembles what humans call a "constipated iguana." Most ineffective for congressional hearings.
Note to self: Increase cricket ration to prepare for upcoming Financial Summit. The molting has begun around my left elbow.
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